The Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull will today decree a Royal Commission into Sexual Staff Relations known as the Royal Commission into Bonks, i.e. #bonkcommission.
He will say, “Far from being tawdry or salacious, the investigation will provide clear guidelines as the what is and is not appropriate in navigating the complex world of human relations in the intense workplace environment that is Australian Parliament House.”
The announcement follows yesterday’s revision to the Code of Ministerial Conduct trending online as #bonkban.
The Prime Minister will also say. “The Commission will find it desirable to set up a Register of Staff Relations.”
Those failing to accurately use the Register will be deemed to have committed a #bonkommission.
He will also announce a new APH (Australian Parliament House) clean furniture policy. Breaches of this policy will be known as #bonkemissions.
International media and parliamentary supervisors watch developments in Australia with interest. Some commenttators consider the Australian PM an endangered species known as The Woolly Malcolm.